Day: September 14, 2004
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Paula Poundstone on Recovery
“I was sentenced to AA on national television,” she says during her routine. “That pretty much blows the hell out of the second A.” She refers to rehab as “stupid” and argues that not only have AA meetings proved ineffective, but it was unconstitutional for a judge to compel her to attend. “I’m an atheist,”…
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Reality
It’s one thing to read about it in the newspaper, but it’s another thing to see them actually scrape the body parts off the street.Doug Moke, an American student studying in Beersheba, Israel, on the scene after two bus bombings there killed 16 people. Hamas claimed responsibility for the attacks. Time, 13 September 2004Now that’s…
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Where’s the beef?
It’s at a Pennsylvania pub that serves the world’s biggest burger – weighing in at NINE lip-smacking pounds! That’s no whopper – you can actually get this meat monster for $23.95, loaded with all the “fixins”…Two whole tomatoes A half-head of lettuce 12 slices of American cheese A full cup of peppers Two entire onionsPlus,…
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Cake or Bed
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.”He look at her and says angrily, “Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don’t think so.”“Fine,” she says. …
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Definitions
ADULTA person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.BEAUTY PARLORA place where women curl up and dye.CANNIBALSomeone who is fed up with people.CHICKENSThe only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.COMMITTEEA body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.DUSTMud with the juice squeezed out.EGOTISTSomeone…
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Growth
No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.Heraclitus