Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.
UnknownDecember 2004
Monthly Archive
Fri 31 Dec 2004
Fri 31 Dec 2004
Hello, is this the DEA?”
“Yes. What can I do for you?”
“I’m calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith.
“He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, the DEA agents descend on Virgil’s house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They sneer at Virgil and leave.
The phone rings at Virgil’s house, “Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the FBI come?”
“Yeah!”
“Did they chop your firewood?”
“Yep.”
“Happy Birthday, buddy.”
via email from John Treworgy, Thu, 16 Dec 2004 14:54:25 +0000Thu 30 Dec 2004
Every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.
UnknownThu 30 Dec 2004
Walking into the bar, Mike said to the bartender, “Pour me a stiff one, I just had another fight with the little woman.”
“Oh yeah?” said Greg, “And how did this one end?”
“When it was over,” Mike replied, “she came to me on her hands and knees.”
“Really? Now that’s a switch! What did she say?”
She said, “Come out from under that bed, you little chicken shit!”
via email from John Treworgy, Thu, 16 Dec 2004 16:35:36 +0000Wed 29 Dec 2004
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”
Dave BarryWed 29 Dec 2004
- Next up, what’s the holiday season without watching “It’s A Wonderful Life?” Watch it here in 30 seconds, acted out by bunnies.
- Panoramic photos from France.
- Fish highway. Fish highway! (Click on photos.)
- Alice in Wonderland, told in Flash.
- SpiderMan 2, told in Legos (thanks to Mark Chackerian).
- Noether’s second theorem for graded Lagrangian systems of even and odd variables… the funniest treatment yet!
- A bizarre, bizarre fitness video.
Mon 27 Dec 2004
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan.
A. Whitney Brown
