I can stand what I know. It’s what I don’t know that frightens me.
Frances NewtonOctober 2006
Monthly Archive
Tue 31 Oct 2006
Tue 31 Oct 2006
Tue 31 Oct 2006
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him
FASTER…
FASTER…
BUMP…
BUMP…
BUMP…
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…
and,
(hopefully you’re ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops.
via email from Bob Rosen, Fri, 20 Oct 2006 15:05:33 -0700Mon 30 Oct 2006
Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly, and they will show themselves great.
Ralph Waldo EmersonMon 30 Oct 2006
A blonde’s car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.
She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
Out jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers…
Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs.
It’s not very long before a police car shows up.
The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What the heck is going on here?”
“My car broke down,” says the lady, calmly.
“Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!” asks the cop…
“Those are my emergency flashers!” she replied.
via email from Duane McDowelll, Mon, 23 Oct 2006 08:38:14 -0700Sun 29 Oct 2006
Happiness consists of a solid faith, good health, and a bad memory.
Clare Boothe LuceSun 29 Oct 2006
The Johnson & Johnson companies have finally noticed that not everyone is beige. I wonder where they were in the 1960′s?
This advertisement and coupon showed up in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune sometime this summer, but it got set aside and I had forgotten to put it up for comment.
