Dr. Wingnut

An optimist stays up to see the new year in.  A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.

If you don’t have any loyalty to what you are doing, you ought not be doing it.

• Mom’s Overture by Anita Renfroe
• Mrs. Hughes’ skewed views

Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.

The Maker of all Human Beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the mind and body.  This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Alcoholism, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed “Subsequential Internal Non-Morality,” or more commonly known as defects of character, as it is primarily expressed.

Some symptoms include:

1. Anger
2. Self-pity
3. Dishonesty
4. Impatience
5. False pride
6. Fear
7. Resentment
8. Laziness
9. Envy
10. Insincerity
11. Intolerance
12. Selfishness

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct these shortcomings.

The Repair Technician, herein referred to as God, as you understand Him, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.

There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: 1-800-P-R-A-Y-E R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of shortcomings through the inventory procedure.

Next, download forgiveness from the Repair Technician, God as you understand Him, into the heart component.  No matter how big or small the defect of character is, God will replace it with:

1. Love
2. Self-forgetfulness
3. Honesty
4. Patience
5. Humility
6. Faith
7. Forgiveness
8. Action
9. Generosity
10. Compassion
11. Tolerance
12. Service

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will eventually result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

For free emergency service, call on your sponsor.

DANGER: The human being units never responding to this recall action will be doomed to repeat this cycle unless they follow the few simple rules above.

Thank you for your attention!

GOD

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and that they may contact Him any time by “knee mail.”

Of course Mrs. Wingnut thinks that I am crazy when I sit in front of the TV multi-tasking, watching the TV, and doing something worthwhile; looking for a job, working on my blog, et cetera; but apparently I’m not alone, and according to today’s editorial by John Foley of Information Week, I should really be younger than 34, because I rarely watch TV without the laptop in my lap…

The Rise Of The Two-Screen TV Audience

Startup Jacked.com is building a business around people who use a PC, laptop, or cell phone at the same time that they’re watching TV.  These so-called “two screeners” may represent the rising class among TV viewers.

Jacked refers to it as the “two-screen phenomenon” and says that more than half of all TV viewers sometimes do it. The supporting data:

• 70% of people younger than 34 watch TV while being online, according to Park Associates.
• 39.5% of adults regularly watch TV while going online, according to BIGresearch.
• 35% of U.S. college students watch TV while using a computer, according to Burst Media.
• 40% of Tivo subscribers use a PC or mobile device while watching TV, according to Tivo.

Of course, not all of these people (myself among them) are tuned in to the same subject in both places, but some are.  Jacked, which secured $6.5 million in venture funding earlier this year, serves this audience by delivering Web content that coincides with TV programming. Its most recent deal is with NBCSports.com to provide a dashboard of widgets during NFL Sunday Night Football games. With one eye on the TV, fans can get real-time statistics, player profiles, and chat with each other at nbcsports.com/playaction.

Find out what other deals Jacked has and which sports it will provide services for in the coming months by reading the rest of my blog post.

John Foley