What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.
Benjamin DisraeliApril 2008
Monthly Archive
Wed 30 Apr 2008
Tue 29 Apr 2008
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don’t believe is right.
Jane GoodallTue 29 Apr 2008
In our department, when the help desk gets a call that the blackberries aren’t working, they naturally look at the data warehouse server… Go figure.
Mon 28 Apr 2008
The people who really understand the Web know that nobody really understands the Web.
Alexander Wolfe, InformationWeek Columnist commenting on the start of the Web 2.0 Expo in San Francisco, 20 Apr 2008Sun 27 Apr 2008
The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Alice Roosevelt LongworthSun 27 Apr 2008
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
- Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
- There are 10 commandments, not 12.
- There are 12 disciples, not 10.
- Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
- Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
- We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
- The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
- David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
- When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
- We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
- When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”
- The Virgin Mary is not called, “Mary with the Cherry.”
- The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.”
- Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
Sat 26 Apr 2008
We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.
Bill Vaughan
