Tweet: Once upon a time all modems belie…

Once upon a time all modems believed that they were the center of the known universe; now printers have claimed that privilege.

Tweet: If a cow can jump over the moon, …

If a cow can jump over the moon, how come a cow can’t jump over a cattle grate?

Tweet: The Shooting of Greg LeMond: The …

The Shooting of Greg LeMond: The comebacks of America’s first [really the only] Tour de France champion https://t.co/AhrbzWXdK2

Birthday Horoscope

There are no limits on your dress, and your achievements are within your reach.  Creating an environment that will consistently support you is a commitment; don’s expect it to happen overnight.  Stay compassionate.  Get a new coach or teacher to help you transition into your new life.  Scorpio and Aquarius adore you.  Your lucky numbers are: 17, 8, 9, 33 and 40.

Tweet: Saw a man yesterday on the Cedar …

Saw a man yesterday on the Cedar Lake Trail near Target Field obviously talking to himself. Appeared mentally ill.… https://t.co/Lb7uQyL1pb

Tweet: That’s right, we should be wors…

That’s right, we should be worshiping his noodlyness the Flying Spaghetti Monster. #Ramen https://t.co/oM9Ae4KUb6

Tweet: What no Coca-Cola or Harley David…

What no Coca-Cola or Harley Davidson; what’s the world coming to? https://t.co/gvO86HAFHE