Day: August 3, 2000

SYMPTOM:FAULT:ACTION:Beer unusually pale and tasteless.Glass empty.Get someone to buy you another beer.Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. You have fallen over backward.Have yourself lashed to bar. Mouth contains cigarette butts.You have fallen forward.See above.Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.Retire to restroom, practice in…

The last 2 years have seen unprecedented growth in bear population in Northern California and the Rocky Mountain areas.  As spring approaches, tourists are warned to wear small bells on their clothing while hiking in bear country.  The bells warn away most bears.  Tourists are also cautioned to watch the ground for bear droppings so…

Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket ScientistScientists at NASA have a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.  The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.British engineers…

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.  He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."Archangel Michael looked puzzled…

A father and his son go into the grocery store, when they happen upon the condom isle.The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.The father replies: "Well, you see the 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday…

This was an actual question given on a University of Washington physics midterm:“Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  Support your answer with proof.”Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.  One…

This is really spooky…..An anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble.WordWhen you rearrange the letters DormitoryDirty RoomDesperationA Rope Ends ItThe…