Month: August 2000

Many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and last initial to either the beginning or end to make up an E-mail address.  For example, Mary L. Ferguson mlfergus or fergusml.  They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may happen when you…

THIS WILL WORK WITHOUT ANY GLITCHES FOR SURE….Y2K READY.

An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)An economist…

If you ever wished you could remember Norm's greetings on "Cheers" here you go.SAM: "What's shaking Norm?"NORM: "All four cheeks & a couple of chins."SAM: "What's new Normie?"NORM: "Terrorists, Sam.  They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."SAM: "What'd you like Normie?"NORM: "A reason to live.  Give me another beer."SAM: "What'll you have Normie?"NORM:…

For years I've been blaming it on iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.  But now I found out the real reason I'm tired is because I'm overworked.  The population of this country is 35 million. Four million are retired.  That leaves 31 million to do the work.There are 19 million…

AQUADEXTROUS(ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.CARPERPETUATION(kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it…

Here are the winning entries from a recent contest for "New Scientific Theories."THE RUNNERS-UP:4th Runner UpThe earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to…