Month: July 2004

The F@#* word… There are only eleven times in history when the “F” word has been considered acceptable for use.  They are as follows:“What the @#$% do you mean we are sinking?”Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912“What the @#$% was that?”Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945“Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?”Custer, 1877“Any @#$%ing idiot…

When I pointed out the following picture to a friend, he inquired, “I wonder where the mass graves are hidden?”Xak aka www.drwingnut.com

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen.  He asks her what her leadership philosophy is.  She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.He asks how she knows if they’re intelligent. “I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen.  “Allow me to demonstrate.”  She…

Two men were talking. So, how’s your sex life?”Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.” Social Security sex?”Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!” Loud SexA wife went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed…

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is Politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President.  Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.  We are here to take…

Dear Abby:I have been so blessed in my life. Great parents, great wife and kids, great job, and great education.When I finally retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime — bass fishing.  I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she…