Dr Wingnut

Year: 2005

  • Strength

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    Our strength is often composed of the weakness we’re damned if we’re going to show.Mignon McLaughlin

  • The perfect husband

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    Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.  A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.  Everyone else in the room stops to listen.MAN: “Hello”WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me.  Are you at the club?”MAN: “Yes”WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and…

  • Change and Progress

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    Change is one thing, progress is another.  “Change” is scientific, “progress” is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.Bertrand Russell

  • Life cycle

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    Woman’s life story…What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her…

  • New Year’s resolution

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    A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.AnonymousHowever the doctor has made a resolution to go from a 38-inch waist to a 36-inch waist.  Wish him luck.

  • Safer

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    Boy, I feel safer now that she’s [Martha Stewart] behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking around; Osama bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her ass to jail.Tim Allen, Comedian

  • Snipper job

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    A guy goes into the employment office in Columbus.  Not many jobs and it doesn’t take him very long, of course.Then, just as he’s about to give up and go away, he spots something.“Wanted”, it says.  “Single man, willing to travel, must have own scissors.  $500 a week guaranteed, plus company car and all expenses.”Well,…