Dr Wingnut

Year: 2007

  • Opportunity

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    If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.Milton Berle

  • Senior moment

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    When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.  We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?” He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.  So I called him a Nazi turd.He glared at me and started writing another ticket for…

  • Random thought

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    When is an “F” better than a “C”?  When it’s the designation of the class you’re sitting in on the airplane.

  • If you don’t who will?

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    You really need to take care of yourself because you won’t be good for anyone else unless you take care of yourself.Harry Bartholomew

  • Retirement

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    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.  The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.  I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.  I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would…

  • Progress

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    The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.George Eliot

  • Good questions

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    Can you cry under water?How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?Why does a round pizza come in a square box?What disease did cured ham actually have?How is it that…