- Do you walk to school, or carry your lunch?
- Is your favorite pen a Parker, or do you use green ink?
- Is it faster by bus, or to New York City?
- Do you go out, or at night?
- Is it hotter in the summer, or in the country?
- Would you rather, or go fishing?
- Is it wetter under water if you’re there when it rains?1
- Is it shorter to New York, than it is by plane?1
- Is it hotter down south, than it is in the summer?1
- What’s the difference between an orange? None…because ice cream doesn’t have bones. No no no…it’s because oranges don’t have wheels. And apples don’t have umbrellas. Kinda like going hunting without an accordian. No it’s because biscuits don’t have windows.
Do you have any to add?
1Leroy Pullins, “I’m a nut”, (Album KAPP 758, 1966)
How tall do you weigh? And an interesting statement:
I don’t have much money but I fall down a lot.
Is it on Sunday nights? No, Eight O’Clock.
“What’s the difference between a duck?” The answer to any of these questions was, “A violin, because a vest has no sleeves.”
Have you stopped beating your wife?
What’s the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.
What’s the difference between an orange? About this color. (Open hands held a foot or two apart, with palms either facing each other, or at right angles to each other (right palm facing left and left palm facing down).
Why is a mouse when it spins? The higher it spins, the faster.
What’s the difference between a window? The cleaner you wipe it, it gets. (I’m not sure this was the original question to go with this answer, but it’s the only one I can remember.)
These four from G is for Grant
Saw a new one today in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, “Are you nice — or is it hot in here?”