Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables!
Teacher: John, how do you spell “crocodile?”
John: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
Teacher: No, that’s wrong.
John: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sarah: H I J K L M N O!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Sarah: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: George!
Teacher: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Willie: Me!
Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I.”
Ellen: I is….
Teacher: No, Ellen…. Always say, “I am.”
Ellen: All right…. “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
Teacher: Can anybody give an example of coincidence?
Johnny: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Johnny: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Desmond: No, ma’am, it’s the same dog!
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: A teacher?
Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.