Female prayer:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,
One who’s handsome, smart & strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks,
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair & opens my door,
Massages my back & begs to do more,
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “How big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen
Male prayer:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomanic with huge boobs who owns a liquor store & a bass boat.
Amen