We have some amazingly lazy employees in the business line that I support; they give up on a task if the least little thing derails their process. For instance, they are supposed to geocode addresses with a latitude and longitude. To do this, they use a variant of Google maps that we wrote to extract that information from a point on the map, then we do some calculations to format the numbers the way the system needs them entered.
But, if the address isn’t found, because the street is too new to be on the map, or for some other reason, they can’t figure out something as simple as, call the customer and ask for a cross street, they just send an email to the GIS guy to interrupt him from getting his work done (He ended up calling the customer and asking).
So I was trying to come up with a metaphor for laziness to complement the phrase for industry, “Busier than a one-armed paper hanger,” or uselessness, “Useless as teats on a boar hog,” so that I could discuss it with my liaison in the business line. All I could come up with on my own was “Lazier than a sloth on thorazine.”
Anyone care to point me to a better phrase?
“Lazier than a couch potato with a functioning remote.”
“Lazier than Bush’s brain processing data.”