Author: Dr Wingnut
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George Carlin POST 9-11-2001 (his wife recently died)
Isn't it amazing that George Carlin, the gloriously gross and mouthy comedian of the 1970's and 1980's, could write something so very eloquent … and so very appropriate post 9-11-2001. Here is a wonderful message by George Carlin:The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways,…
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The End
The most destructive habit … WorryThe greatest joy … GivingThe greatest loss … Loss of self-respectThe most satisfying work … Helping othersThe ugliest personality trait … SelfishnessThe most endangerd species … Dedicated leadersOur greatest natural resource … Our youthThe most effective sleeping pill … Peace of mindThe most crippling failure disease … ExcusesThe worst thing…
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Telemarketers
Telemarketers suck big time. Here are some proven ways to rid your life of these clowns for good… If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because…
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Women Drivers
My name is Bob.This morning I was headed to my office. While driving on Waco Drive near Valley Mills, I looked over my shoulder to the left and there was a woman in a brand new Nissan 350Z with her face up next to the rear view mirror putting on her eye makeup. I looked…
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Vanilla Pudding
This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash…
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Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers
Three Little Words That Work !!The three little words are: "Hold On, Please…"Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know…
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Marines
A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a road when they hear avoice call from behind a sand dune."One United States Marineis better than ten Iraqis!"The Iraqi commander quickly sends10 of his best soldiers over the dune, whereupon a gun battle breaks andcontinues for a few minutes, then silence.The voice then callsout "One…
