Author: Dr Wingnut
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Bulletin from the Pentagon
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:The season opened today.There is no limit.They taste…
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Unrealistic expectations
We’re supposed to be perfect our first day on the job and then show constant improvement.Ed Vargo, major league baseball umpire
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Something Wrong
They always ask at the doctor’s office why you are there and you say in front of others what’s wrong and sometimes it’s embarrassing. There’s nothing worse than a doctor’s receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced…
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Do not talk to my parrot
Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.”“Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t…
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Good fortune
The fortune cookie that I got at my sister-in-law’s 55th birthday party last Sunday evening, January 22, 2006 said, “You can prosper in the field of computers.”Imagine that!
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Wow
Just as I was preparing the “Living” quotation that I planning to post today, the phone rang and the company, Augeo Affinity Marketing, that had called last week to set up an interview called to cancel. It was sort of freaky.The funny thing is that they said that if the internal candidate didn’t “work out,”…