Category: Humor

via email from Mike Soler, Fri, 29 Dec 2006 16:01:54 -0800

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science.  The new element has been named “Bushcronium.”Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.  These particles are held together by dark forces called morons,…

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.  This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.  This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are…

Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur’s court.  He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen’s voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King’s chief doctor.  Horatio the Physician exclaimed…

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?“Breast-fed,” she replied.“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.She…

You Gotta Love Drunk People…sometimesA man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.  The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3…

An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard.  Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.The tailgating woman hit the roof—and the horn—screaming in frustration…