Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Smile!

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.  He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.  I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment…

  • Twenty-five signs you have grown up

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.You hear your favorite song in an elevator.You watch the Weather Channel.Your friends marry and…

  • Wal-Mart greeter

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    A very unattractive, nasty, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids.The Wal-Mart Greeter asks, “Are they twins?”The ugly woman snarls, “Hell no, the oldest one, he’s 9, and the younger one, she’s 7.  Why… do you think they really look alike?”“Hell no,” replied the greeter.  “I just couldn’t believe you got laid twice!”via…

  • Father and Daughter

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.  He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.  Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.  Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.  He went over…

  • Pluck yew

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    History of the middle fingerBefore the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.  Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in! the future.This…

  • Free speech

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    There is a restaurant in North Versailles, PA, Casa D’Ice who’s owner likes to pontificate on his sign.  Check out more of his work:via email from Bob Rosen, Thu, 15 Jun 2006 21:10:19 -0700

  • What’s a 710?

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    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Yesterday I was having some work done at the car dealer.  A blonde woman came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.They all looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?”She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine.  I lost it and need a new one.  It…