Category: Humor

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,…

In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void and darkness was upon the face of the deep.And the devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass,…

The two major presidential candidates today agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details.The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television.Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media presents…

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."George W. Bush, Jr."Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother and child."Governor George W. Bush, Jr."Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."Governor George W. Bush, Jr."Mars is essentially in the same orbitMars is somewhat the samedistance from the Sun, which is very important. We…

Close your eyes and imagine this.No wait, your reading my e-mail.Imagine if you will, sitting in a small seafood restaurant in Florida with Phyllis, Aunt Marge Churchill and Ruth Buckley.  What a nice group to be having lunch with.It’s the first Saturday in April and I’m visiting from the north.Ah, the first Saturday in April…

A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: "If I can…

For those who didn't have time to watch the upcoming presidential debates, I've prepared this transcript of what was said:Jim Lehrer:Welcome to the presidential debate between Vice President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush. The candidates have agreed on these rules: I will ask a question. The candidate will ignore the question and deliver…