Category: Humor

The judge asked the defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."From out in the gallery, a man shouts, "Lying bastard!""Silence in the court!" the Judge says to the man who shouted.  He turns to be defendant and says, "you are also charged with killing a paperboy…

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?A: What for? He can't see my license plate.Q: Who has the right of way when four…

Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, 'Hey. Moe!' It roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces…

Your potted plants stay alive.Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.You hear your favorite song on an elevator.You carry an umbrella AND you watch the Weather Channel.Your friends marry and divorce instead of…

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.  So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over.  When…

Outside a small Macedonian village close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning more than 2,000 years. When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies,…

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston.  One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.  Just before take-off, a Sailor got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.The Sailor kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in…