Category: Humor

This one is for everyone who:has kidshad kidswas a kidknows a kidis going to have kids.I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.  At one point she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers.Trying to keep…

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.  Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.  While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and…

Apparently Woot! is moving to new office space and had a contest to create signage for those offices.  My favorite was:Does that mean that Woot! has only code monkeys as employees?  You can see the rest of the entries at the Woot! blog.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well.  The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.  Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.He invited all his neighbors…

A U. S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, injured and unconscious.  On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men.  The squad leader…

A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”  He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “what is your occupation?”“I’m a whore,” she says.The accountant is somewhat taken back…

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:A half-gallon of 2% milk,A carton of eggs,A quart of orange juice,A head of romaine lettuce,A 2 lb. can of coffee, andA 1 lb. package of bacon.As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as…