Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Vacationland USA

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The Maine Turnpike began a new program this summer where they handed out flyers titled “Welcome To Vacationland.”  These flyers will be handed out to all cars with license plates from Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, and New Jersey.  The flyers state the following rules for visiting Maine:That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did…

  • Kids

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    Dr Wingnut
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    After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.And the first thing He said was “Don’t”“Don’t what?” Adam replied.“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit,” God said.“Forbidden fruit?  We got forbidden fruit?”“Hey, Eve! We got forbidden fruit!”“No way!”“Yes, way!”“Don’t eat that fruit!” said God.“Why not?”“Because I am your Father and I said so!” said God, wondering…

  • The Kilt Question Answered

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I am not sure what the question is, but here is the answer!via email from Duane McDowell, Fri, 18 Nov 2005 13:14:48 -0800

  • Murphy’s Laws of Sewing

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Fusible interfacings always fuse to the iron.The serger only eats the customer’s garment.If you need 6 buttons, you will find 5 in your button box.The seam you meant to rip out is invariably the other one.When you are in a hurry, the needle eye is always too small.The fabric you forgot to pre-shrink will always…

  • Office Math 101

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.  How about achieving 103%?Here’s a little math that might prove helpful.If the alphabet is represented as:ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ1234567891011121314151617181920212223242526Then:HARDWORKTotal811842315181198%KNOWLEDGETotal1114152312547596%But,ATTITUDETotal120209202145100%And,BULLSHITTotal2211212198920103%So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will…

  • A smile for today

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    Dr Wingnut
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    via email from Duane McDowell, Mon, 24 Oct 2005 10:04:18 -0700

  • Who understands men?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The nice men are ugly.The handsome men are not nice.The handsome and nice men are gay.The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.The…