Who’s on First

Diagram of one of the greatest comedy routines of all time by Abbott & Costello:
Number Position Description Player Name
1PPitcherTomorrow
2CCatcherToday
31BFirst BaseWho
42BSecond BaseWhat
53BThird BaseI don’t know
6SSShort StopI don’t give a darn
7LFLeft FieldWhy
8CFCenter FieldBecause
9RFRight FieldNobody
Whos on first

You can get merch with this graphic on it here: TeeChip

Sorry I’m late

Sorry I’m late, but I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Karen Walker, Will and Grace, S1-E6, 2017

Fit together

Time magazine occasionally prints these cartoons from John Atkinson’s Wrong Hands.  I thought that these two cartoons seemed to go together, and I wondered if the Oxymoron Museum was located in Redundantown…

At the Oxymoron Museum
via Time Magazine, 2017-07-31
In the town of Redundantown
via Time Magazine, 2017-09-04

Every morning at our house

via Dustin Comics

Thanks to CJ for alerting me to this spectacular cartoon that ran on 2017-07-16 in the Pioneer Press!

Retirement

I keep hearing people talk about what they’re going to do when they retire.  I’m gonna have to work right up to lunch on the day of my funeral.

Saw on Facebook, 2017-05-30>

Rehab

Margo: “Oh, honey.  We both know that rehab is about more than nachos and backgammon.”

Eliot: “Is it?  Is it, Margo?”

The Magicians, Season 2, Episode 10

DUI Texas style

Only a person in Texas could think of this.  From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas.  After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off–it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.  This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”

“I doubt it”, said the truly proud Redneck.  “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.”

From John Farrell, via email, Wed, 8 Feb 2017 03:57:51 -0800