Perfection is a trifle dull.
W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing UpJanuary 2007
Monthly Archive
Wed 31 Jan 2007
Wed 31 Jan 2007
The latest poll taken by the Governor of California yielded results on whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem.
41% of the respondents answered: “Yes, it is a serious problem.”
59% of the respondents answered: “No es un problema serio.”
via email from Bob Rosen, Mon, 29 Jan 2007 08:41:59 -0800Tue 30 Jan 2007
There is no sinner like a young saint.
Aphra Behn, The RoverTue 30 Jan 2007
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting and confesses; “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.”
“When did you use this awful language?” asks the elder.
“Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive, that looked like it was going to sail over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway, and then fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.”
“Is that when you swore?” asked Mother Superior.
“No, Mother,” says the nun.¬† “After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth, and began to run away.”
“Is that when you swore?” asks the Mother Superior again.
“Well, no.” says the nun.¬† “You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!”
“Is that when you swore?” asks the amazed elder nun.
“No, Mother. Oh no, not yet.¬† As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball.”
“Did you swear then?” asked Mother Superior.
“Oh no, Mother.¬† My ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the hole.”
The two nuns were silent for a moment.
Then Mother Superior sighed and said, “You missed the fucking putt, didn’t you!”
via email from Duane Wolterstorff, Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:22:16 -0800Mon 29 Jan 2007
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty Gods, or no God.
Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of VirginiaMon 29 Jan 2007
- Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother. - How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from. - What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party; A bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you. - What’s the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling. - What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry. - What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. - What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm. - What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
A mechanic. - Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. - Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The one who can eat that last donut. - Jewish dilemma:
Free pork. - The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
“Are you in?” - The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
“Honey, I’m home!”
Sun 28 Jan 2007
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.
Totie Fields
