Dr Wingnut

Year: 1995

  • A Christmas poem

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    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck…How to live in a world that's politically correct?His workers no longer would answer to "Elves"."Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the north poleWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,Released to the wilds by the Humane…

  • Claus Enterprises – 1995 Annual Report

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    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    To: All EmployeesFrom: ManagementRe: Merry XmasThe usual large flamboyant typeface associated with the seasons greetings was downsized this year to commensurate with the trend toward corporate downsizing.The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen elected to take the early reindeer retirement package triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about…

  • Administratium

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    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    The heavist element known to man was recently discovered by US West Advanced Tech, according to one disgruntled USWester.  The element, tentatively named "administratium," has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic number of 0.  However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons.  This…