Month: August 2000

It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there. He went to a very large church and began taking photographs, etc. He spots a golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued with a…

Three lunatics approach their Asylum doctor with a request for a weekend pass to the local city."That's impossible says the doctor. You're all nuts. You'll get lost and never come back."But, the lunatics wouldn't relent until finally, exasperated, the doctor says, "OK! If you can answer a simple question I'll sign the pass."He turns to…

Oil Change instructions for Women:Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.Drink a cup of coffee.15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.Money spent:$20.00 for oil change$ 1.00 for coffee$21.00 TotalOil Change instructions for Men:Go to auto parts store and write a…

PERTH, Australia (AP) — Ansett Airlines grounded one of its planes to search for a snake after a 6-year-old boy was bitten by a deadly taipan thought to be on board.Ansett spokesman Peter Young said the A-320 Airbus was searched by seven experienced snake catchers when it landed in Adelaide on the return flight, and…

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling.  They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor…

You wake up at 3:00 AM to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.You get a tattoo that reads, "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher."You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,…

The lineage is now revealed.  Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt," but now you can handle this situation with confidence!Jack is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt.  O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep N.Schitt, Inc.In…