Dr Wingnut

Day: August 3, 2000

  • Frozen Bird

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    A little bird was flying south for the winter.   It got so cold it froze up and fell to the ground in a large field.   While it was laying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.   As it laid there in a pile of dung, it began to…

  • Frequently asked questions pertaining to HMO plans

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    Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, 'Hey. Moe!' It roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces…

  • What gender is a computer?

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    A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher…

  • Free beer

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    Date: Thursday, May 06, 1999 8:39 AM—————Hello:We here at Miller Brewing Company, Inc. would like to help bring in the new millennium for everyone.  We like to think of ourselves as a progressive company, keeping up with our customers. We have found the best way to do this via the Internet and email.Combining these things,…

  • For the computer lover in all of us.

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    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”In response to Bill’s comments, GM issued a press release…

  • FOR SALE BY OWNER:

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    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.  Excellent Condition. $1200 or best offer.  No longer needed.  Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything

  • Football

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    The National Football League recently announced a new era.  From now on, no offensive team names will be permitted. While the owners of the team rush to change uniforms and such, the National Football League announced, yesterday, its name changes and schedules for the '99 season:The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very…