Day: August 3, 2000
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Eternity?
A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue."The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over…
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eMail Tag
TAGYou're IT!!!This is a game of AOL tag!!! Tag as many people as you can and good luck will come to you. Read ahead!If you tag 2 people, your crush will notice you.If you tag 5 people, your crush will ask you out.If you tag 10 people, your crush will french you.If you tag 20…
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eMail junk (Or the facts of online life)
Here, finally, is one that might actually be worth forwarding. It’s a good reality check. We in Technology Support urge you to consider the following the next time you receive a chain letter or a message telling you the sensational news that USA Today and CNN forgot to mention… This should be required reading to…
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Drug dealers vs. Software developers
Drug dealersSoftware developersRefer to their clients as "users".Refer to their clients as "users"."The first one's free!""Download a free trial version…"Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).Strange jargon: Strange jargon: "Stick" "SCSI""Rock" "RTFM""Wrap" "Packet" "E" "C" "Stash" "Cache" "Drive by" "CTRL ALT DEL"…
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Driving school
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?A: What for? He can't see my license plate.Q: Who has the right of way when four…
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Don't Be Cruel
Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.
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DOG HUMOR
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME:Both take up too much space on the bed.Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.Both mark their territory.Neither tells you what's bothering them.The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.Both have an inordinate fascination with crotches.Neither does any dishes.Both fart shamelessly.Neither of them notice when you get your hair…