Dr Wingnut

Month: August 2000

  • Excerpts from Letters Sent to Landlords

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.I request your permission…

  • Excerpts from actual employee evaluations:

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiousity.I would not allow this employee to breed.This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.Works well when under constant supervision and…

  • Excavation in Israel

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.  Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.A dogA donkeyA shovelA fishA Star of DavidThey decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at Least more than three thousand years old.…

  • Eternity?

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    A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith.  Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths.  Give us a little clue."The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over…

  • eMail Tag

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    Dr Wingnut
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    TAGYou're IT!!!This is a game of AOL tag!!! Tag as many people as you can and good luck will come to you. Read ahead!If you tag 2 people, your crush will notice you.If you tag 5 people, your crush will ask you out.If you tag 10 people, your crush will french you.If you tag 20…

  • eMail junk (Or the facts of online life)

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Here, finally, is one that might actually be worth forwarding.  It’s a good reality check.  We in Technology Support urge you to consider the following the next time you receive a chain letter or a message telling you the sensational news that USA Today and CNN forgot to mention…  This should be required reading to…

  • Drug dealers vs. Software developers

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Drug dealersSoftware developersRefer to their clients as "users".Refer to their clients as "users"."The first one's free!""Download a free trial version…"Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff). Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).Strange jargon: Strange jargon: "Stick" "SCSI""Rock" "RTFM""Wrap" "Packet" "E" "C" "Stash" "Cache" "Drive by" "CTRL ALT DEL"…