Year: 2000

AQUADEXTROUS(ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.CARPERPETUATION(kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it…

Here are the winning entries from a recent contest for "New Scientific Theories."THE RUNNERS-UP:4th Runner UpThe earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to…

In 1921 Babe Ruth hit 59 home runs in 152 games played.In 1927 Babe Ruth hit 60 home runs in 151 games played.As of 19 Sep 1999:In 1999 Sammy Sosa has hit 59 home runs in 140 games played so far.In 1999 Mark McGuire has hit 54 home runs in 135 games played so far.The…

It is rumored a film about Bill and Monica is already completed in Hollywood. All that is left is to figure out the title of the movie.Here are some candidates for the title:Citizen StainPrince of TiesThe Bad News BaresDumb and Dumber TwoLady and the TrampThe Hoarse WhispererApackolies NowDial M for MonicaWilly Wonka and the Cigar…

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again…

Three men, one from New Hampshire, one from Massachusetts and one from Maine are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it."I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.The man from New Hampshire says, "I am a farmer, my dad…

Ellen Degeneres virus… Your IBM suddenly insists it's a MACMonica Lewinsky virus… Sucks all the memory out of your computerTitanic virus… Makes your whole computer go downDisney virus… Everything in the computer goes GoofyMike Tyson virus … Quits after one byteProzac virus … Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't careSharon Stone virus ……