Dr Wingnut

Year: 2000

  • W. (Dubya)

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    Dr Wingnut
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    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."George W. Bush, Jr."Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother and child."Governor George W. Bush, Jr."Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."Governor George W. Bush, Jr."Mars is essentially in the same orbitMars is somewhat the samedistance from the Sun, which is very important. We…

  • Saturday Night, Jump or Leap?

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    Close your eyes and imagine this.No wait, your reading my e-mail.Imagine if you will, sitting in a small seafood restaurant in Florida with Phyllis, Aunt Marge Churchill and Ruth Buckley.  What a nice group to be having lunch with.It’s the first Saturday in April and I’m visiting from the north.Ah, the first Saturday in April…

  • The Shepherd

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    A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asked our shepherd: "If I can…

  • Children's proverbs

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    A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.Better to be safe than……………punch a 5th graderStrike while the…………………Bug is closeIt's always darkest before………..Daylight Savings TimeNever underestimate…

  • Presidential Debates

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    For those who didn't have time to watch the upcoming presidential debates, I've prepared this transcript of what was said:Jim Lehrer:Welcome to the presidential debate between Vice President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush. The candidates have agreed on these rules: I will ask a question. The candidate will ignore the question and deliver…

  • Begosh and Begorah

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    An Irish bloke goes to the doctor, "Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot".So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. "Incredible" he says, "there is a $20 note lodged up here"Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then…

  • Funny Crazy Eights

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    Dr Wingnut
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    RulesSingle Deck = 4 peopleDouble Deck = 6 or moreDeal each player 8 cardsTurn one card upNext player plays same suit or same face value.  If you can't follow suit, draw a card.Jack is wild.  Can play anytime.  Can name own suit.Ace = Reverses the play until another Ace is played7 = Next player loses…