Year: 2001

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:From a Southwest Airlines employee… "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…"Pilot-"Folks, we…

A Texas lawyer and a New York lawyer were sitting together on a plane. The Texas lawyer was trying to impress the New Yorker with the size of his ranch. He said "Let me put it this way. If I get in my car when the sun comes up, and I drive all day long,…

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain:When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do — you forward jokes.When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.When you have something to…

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.So the…

Dear Mr. President:I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and reflected on that and I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically:Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita…

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing."There is only one pretty child in the world… and every mother has it."Chinese ProverbMothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach…

A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody– it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.When he had finished,…