Year: 2004
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Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear In A Cab
10. “My brakes are shot, so when you get to your block just jump out”9. “Why so shy, cowboy? Plenty of room up here”8. “There’s something wrong with the exhaust, so try not to breathe”7. “Watch this guy’s expression when I ram into his car”6. “Damn, without my glasses I’m blind as a bat”5. “Lemme…
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Learn the tricks of the trade
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. …
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In-flight announcements
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when…
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What they said at the Olympics
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the [2004] Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:Weightlifting commentator: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.”Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal…
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Luxury
Some people think luxury is the opposite of poverty. It is not. It is the opposite of vulgarity.Coco Chanel
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How times change
I just picked up the September issue of Sys Admin (the journal for UNIX and Linux system administrators), and right there on the cover is an article titled, “Using LSD to Sync a Solaris Environment.” I’m old enough to remember when that acronym (LSD) didn’t mean LDAP Software Distribution, it meant lysergic acid diethylamide (AKA…