A little reality humor — on recovery…

09/23/2011 Dr Wingnut Humor, Recovery Comments Off on A little reality humor — on recovery…
  1. It’s not old behavior if I’m still doing it.
  2. If you’re looking to have an image in recovery, look around at the meetings you go to and take a look at whom you’re trying to impress.
  3. An alcoholic is a person who wants to be held while he’s isolating.
  4. Sobriety is the leading cause of relapse.
  5. A treatment center is where you go and pay $15,000 to find out that recovery meetings are free.
  6. The idea that alcoholics, drug addicts, sex addicts, overeaters, smokers, et cetera, et cetera, should should all just go to AA meetings because a disease, is a disease, is a disease… was started by a treatment center that only had one van.
  7. This is a ‘One Day at a Time’ program.  If you are clean and sober today, you are tied for first place in recovery.
  8. If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker.  If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic.
  9. I often pursue feeling good, no matter how bad it makes me feel.
  10. When I was new, I didn’t think I had any obsessions until I started thinking about it.  Then it was all I could think about.
  11. How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
  12. From a newcomer reading the ‘Promises’ for the first time: “We will comprehend the word cemetery and we will know peace.”
  13. If God were small enough to be understood, He wouldn’t be big enough to be God!
  14. If you want to quit drinking; you are going to have to quit drinking.
  15. Newcomer: “How do I know how many meetings I should attend each week?”  Old-timer: “Gradually cut back until you get drunk.  Then you’ll know.”
  16. I would rather go through life sober, believing I’m an alcoholic, than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I’m not an alcoholic.
  17. Resentments are like stray cats: if you don’t feed them, they’ll go away.
  18. I drank when I was happy.  I drank when I was unhappy.  Actually, I’m a reason to drink.
  19. I can’t do His will my way.
  20. The good news is you get your emotions back; the bad news is you get your emotions back.
  21. All we ask is that you completely change your attitude as soon as possible.
via Don D, 17-Aug-2011