A Prayer for the Stressed

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work… 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20 % on Thursday, and 5% on Friday.

And help me to remember when I'm having a really bad day and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

via email from Nan Herpst, Thursday, June 24, 1999 3:59 PM