Actual Headlines

  1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
  2. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
  3. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
  4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  5. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
  6. Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  8. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
  9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
  10. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands
  11. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
  12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
  13. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
  14. Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
  16. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
  17. Miners Refuse To Work After Death
  18. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
  19. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
  20. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter