Author: Dr Wingnut
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Grandma’s Boyfriend
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?”Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The…
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Send a letter to the President
President George W. Bush1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NWWashington DC 20500-0001Dear President Bush,Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have learned a great deal from you and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply…
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Bless me father
An old gent moved into a retirement community where good-looking, eligible men are at a premium.After he had been there for a week, he went to confession and said, “Bless me father, for I have sinned. Last week I had my way with seven different women.” The priest said, “Take seven lemons, squeeze them into…
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Women over Thirty
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.If a woman over 30 doesn’t want to…
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Employees
In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. If you hire somebody without the first, you really want them to be dumb and lazy.Warren Buffett
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That’s the way I want to go
Kenneth Iverson, who received the ACM‘s Turing Award in 1979 for creating the APL programming language died on October 19th at age 83. Three days earlier on Saturday evening, he suffered a stroke at home in front of the computer.
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Golf outing
The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” her husband demanded. “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.” The…