Author: Dr Wingnut
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Visiting tips for the 2002 Olympic Winter Games
With the upcoming Olympics only a month away, I thought as a resident of Utah, I would share a few “tips” for visitors to the area:Don’t laugh at the names (LaVar, LaVel, LaDell, LaMont, DelVora, Lehi, Moroni, Aldean, Brigham, or LuDean, etc.) All names are divine and are beyond gentile humor.Don’t offer your Utah Volunteer…
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Maybe they mean me…
http://www.satirewire.com/news/0112/hate_crime.shtmlvia eMail, Thu, 24 Jan 2002 09:16:54 +0800
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Snow?
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.What happens when you predict snow but don't get any….True story… a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,…
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Wisdom
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.Nothing in the known universe travels faster than…
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George Carlin’s deep thoughts
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?OK… so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the Jags and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the Bucs, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that…
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How to Run a Microsoft-Free Shop
Do you find that you're incapable of stopping upgrades? Do you spend much of your day patching security holes? Do you have a vague sense that you're spending too much money on software? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you may have become overly dependent on Microsoft. Here's a handy 12-step program…
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Unemployment
Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. Asked his occupation, Ole said, "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties."The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.Sven was asked his occupation.…