Author: Dr Wingnut

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the…

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.  Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the…

Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 YearsNever Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved OneWar Dims Hope For PeaceIf Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A WhileCold Wave Linked To TemperaturesDeer Kill 17,000Red Tape Holds Up New BridgeTyphoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds DeadMan Struck By Lightening Faces Battery ChargeNew Study Of Obesity Looks…

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety…

What he saysWhat he means"Was it good for you?""I'm insecure about my manhood." "I want a commitment.""I'm sick of masturbation."I had a wonderful time last night.""Who the hell are you?" "I've been thinking a lot.""You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.""I'll give you a call.""I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild…

Open a new document in Word Type "I'd love to see you naked" (without the quotes) Highlight the entire sentence you just typed Click Tools; Thesaurus (or hit shift-F7 to open the thesaurus)

Dear Sir:My friend in Ute, Iowa received a check for $1000 from the government for not raising 50 hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what…