Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Just for the fun of it

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Times when the “F” word was appropriate“I don’t suppose its gonna fucking rain?”Joan of Arc“I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.”John F. KennedyAn Irish priest is in a church on Saturday afternoon, hearing confessions… A man walks in and kneels down and begins his confessionFather, it has been two…

  • Life in a nut shell

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    Dr Wingnut
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    At age:Success is:4not peeing your pants.12having friends. 20having sex.35making money.60having sex. 70having friends.80not peeing your pants.via eMail, Thu, 22 Jun 2000 16:34:21 EDT

  • Words to guide our lives

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me, either; just leave me alone.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.It’s always darkest before dawn.  So if you’re going to…

  • The advantages of being female

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    Dr Wingnut
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    We got off the Titanic first.We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.Taxis stop for us.We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.We don't have to…

  • Heimleich Maneuver

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    Two West Virginians were having the blue plate special at their favorite diner, when they heard this awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a 'possum burger too fast.The first hillbilly said to the other, "Think we otta' help?""I reckon," said the…

  • Rules men wish women knew

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    Dr Wingnut
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    If you think you're ugly, you probably are. Don't ask us.Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.Sometimes we're NOT thinking about you. Live with it.ANYTHING you wear is fine. Really.You have enough clothes.You have too many shoes.No, we DON'T know what day it is. We never will.We're bound to miss…

  • The Grasshopper and the Ant

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Classic versionThe ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he…