Author: Dr Wingnut
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Best Newspaper Headlines of 1999
Include Your Children When Baking CookiesSomething Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts SayPolice Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersDrunks Get Nine Months in Violin CaseIraqi Head Seeks ArmsLocal High School Dropouts Cut in HalfProstitutes Appeal to PopePanda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverBritish Left Waffles on Falkland IslandsTeacher Strikes Idle KidsClinton Wins Budget; More Lies AheadPlane…
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Yo, yankees, listen-up
All us Southerners already know this. This is a fair warning to all Yankees (northerners who visit the South) or Damn Yankees (northerners who come south and stay).Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know.Don't laugh at folk's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther…
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Language barrier?
An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."He then says, "Now, I…
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The smartest man in the world
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.Finally the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had…
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Achieving Balance in Life.
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some fiveballs in the air. You name them – Work – Family – Health – Friends -Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soonunderstand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounceback. But the other…
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What if God had voice mail?
We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessarypart of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mailImagine praying and hearing …“Thank you for calling The Lord’s House. Please select from the following options:Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTSPress 2 for THANKSGIVINGPress 3 for COMPLAINTSPress 4…
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Meal tome?
A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?" she asks.He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup,…