Author: Dr Wingnut
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2005 Emergency Preparedness Calendar
As you may know, we live about 6 miles from the Seabrook Station Nuclear Power plant located on the seashore in lovely Seabrook, New Hampshire. Well, it is 6 miles if I take the shortcut by the Lawn Ornament Zoo.Many of you may remember the sign on Interstate 95 which George (The Elder) Bush would…
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Strength
Our strength is often composed of the weakness we’re damned if we’re going to show.Mignon McLaughlin
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The perfect husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.MAN: “Hello”WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”MAN: “Yes”WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and…
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Change and Progress
Change is one thing, progress is another. “Change” is scientific, “progress” is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.Bertrand Russell
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Life cycle
Woman’s life story…What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her…
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New Year’s resolution
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.AnonymousHowever the doctor has made a resolution to go from a 38-inch waist to a 36-inch waist. Wish him luck.
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Safer
Boy, I feel safer now that she’s [Martha Stewart] behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking around; Osama bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her ass to jail.Tim Allen, Comedian