Bad Jokes

  • Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.  The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was excellent.
  • A dyslexic man walks into a bra…
  • “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.”
    “That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
    “Is it common?”
    “Well, It’s Not Unusual.”
  • An invisible man marries an invisible woman.  The kids were nothing to look at either.
  • Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
  • I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
  • Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?  His goal: transcend dental medication.
  • A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
    “But why?” they asked, as they moved off.
    “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
  • Finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.
  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  • If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
  • With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  • A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in linoleum blown apart.
  • A Local Area Network in Australia is known as a LAN Down Under.
  • He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
  • Every calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted.  ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.
  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  • When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.
via email from John Treworgy, Tue, 3 Jan 2006 07:48:13 -0600

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