- Constipated people don’t give a crap.
- If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.
- Horn broken… watch for finger.
- The earth is full – go home.
- I have the body of a god — Buddha.
- So many pedestrians — so little time.
- Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
- If we quit voting, will they all go away?
- Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
- Illiterate? Write for help.
- Honk if anything falls off.
- Cover me, I’m changing lanes.
- He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
- I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
- You! Out of the gene pool — Now!
- I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
- Fight crime: Shoot back!
- If you can read this, please flip me back over… (seen upside down on a Jeep)
- Remember folks: Stop lights timed for 35 MPH are also timed for 70 MPH.
- Guys: No shirt, no service. Gals: No shirt, no charge
- If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hut?
- Ax me about ebonics.
- Body by nautilus; brain by mattel.
- Boldly going nowhere.
- Caution — driver legally blonde.
- Heart attacks … God’s revenge for eating his animal friends.
- Honk if you’ve never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
- How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
- Grow your own dope — plant a man.
- All men are animals; some just make better pets.
- Politicians & diapers both need to be changed, and for the same reason
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my favorite of all time is:
“An erection is NOT a sign of personal growth.”