Calling Room Service

The transcript to a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service: "Morny.  Ruin sorbees."

Hotel Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: "Rye…Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to oder sunteen??"

Hotel Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Hotel Guest: "What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?..pry. boy, pooch?"

Hotel Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee bayhcem…crease?"

Hotel Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay.  An San tos?"

Hotel Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "San tos.  July San tos?"

Hotel Guest: "I don't think so."

Room Service: "No? Judo one toes??"

Hotel Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! toes!…why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

Hotel Guest: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bother?"

Hotel Guest: "No, just put the bother on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?"

Hotel Guest: "I mean butter…just put it on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"

Hotel Guest: "Sorry?"

Room Service: "Copy…tea…mill?"

Hotel Guest: "Yes.  Coffee please, and that's all."

Room Service: "One Minnie.  As ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy…rye??"

Hotel Guest: "Whatever you say."

Room Service: "Tendjewberrymud."

Hotel Guest: "You're welcome."