Category: Humor
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Ten blondes and a brunette
Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone would perish. For an agonizing few moments no…
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The Egg…
If you think life is bad… How would you like to be an egg?You only get laid once.You only get eaten once.It takes 4 minutes to get hard.Only 2 minutes to get soft.You share your box with 11 other guys.But worst of all, the only chick that ever saton your face was your mother.So cheer…
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The Twelve Days of Christmas
Dec. 14, 1995My Dearest Peter,The cute little partridge arrived a little while ago, and the pear tree sapling came a little while later. I'm not sure of the connection, but I love them.Love always,DoriDec 15, 1995Dearest Peter,Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your thoughtful…
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Today's Stock Market Report
Submitted by iVillager S. Joan H.Helium was up, feathers were down.Paper was stationary.Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.Knives were up sharply.Cows steered into a bull market.Pencils lost a few points.Hiking equipment was trailing.Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.Weights were up in heavy trading.Light switches were off.Mining equipment hit rock bottom.Diapers remained unchanged.Shipping…
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Watching TV
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it…
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Why did you get married?
"I got married," said the first tavern regular, "so that I could get laid three or four times a week.""That's funny," said another patron, "That's why I got divorced."
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A genie
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses.On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window…