Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • An Arm and A Leg

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    Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, and he heard a loud voice ask him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. Then the loud voice said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.He said "this person…

  • Boston Bank Loan

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    A businessman walks into a bank in Boston and asks for the loan officer.  He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a…

  • CONGRESS PASSES AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

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    WASHINGTON, DC-On Tuesday, Congress approved the Americans With No Abilities Act, sweeping new legislation that provides benefits and protection for more than 135 million talentless Americans.The act, signed into law by President Clinton shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory for the millions upon millions of U.S. citizens who lack any…

  • Does Bill Gates have a problem we don't know about?

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    Open a new document in WordType "Unable to follow directions" (without the quotes)Highlight the entire sentence you just typedClick Tools; Thesaurus (or hit shift-F7 to open the thesaurus)(FYI — Thesaurus is found on Word 97 under tools, language.)

  • FOR SALE BY OWNER:

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    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.  Excellent Condition. $1200 or best offer.  No longer needed.  Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything

  • Good Ol' Fred

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    Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of…

  • HoW To KeEp A HeaLthY LeVel Of iNsAniTy aNd dRiVe OtHeR PeOple iNsAnE

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    At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.Insist that your e mail address be “Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.”In the memo field of all your checks, write, “for sexual favors”Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with…