Category: Humor

By Garrison KeillorI have made fun of Lutherans for years — who wouldn't if you lived in Minnesota?  But I have also sung with Lutherans and that is one of the main joys of life, along with hot baths and fresh sweet corn.  We make fun of Lutherans for their blandness, their excessive calm, their…

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident.The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St.…

This was an actual question given on a University of Washington physics midterm:“Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  Support your answer with proof.”Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.  One…

A man and a women were married for 40 years.  When they first got married the man said "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it".In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked.  However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the…

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The BedGet Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Good-byeI Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go BowlingI Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With…

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME:Both take up too much space on the bed.Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.Both mark their territory.Neither tells you what's bothering them.The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.Both have an inordinate fascination with crotches.Neither does any dishes.Both fart shamelessly.Neither of them notice when you get your hair…

Date: Thursday, May 06, 1999 8:39 AM—————Hello:We here at Miller Brewing Company, Inc. would like to help bring in the new millennium for everyone.  We like to think of ourselves as a progressive company, keeping up with our customers. We have found the best way to do this via the Internet and email.Combining these things,…