Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Signs That You've Had Too Much Of The '90s:

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    You try to enter your password on the microwave.You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't…

  • Star Trek and Microsoft

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Picard"Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"Geordi"Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the…

  • Ten Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    The monitor is up on blocks.Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.The six front keys have rotted out.The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.The numeric keypad only goes up to six.The password is "Bubba."There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.The keyboard is painted…

  • The Father's Eyes

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship.  Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game.  This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school.  But…

  • The way it is…

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.The BRAIN said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The EYES said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the…

  • Toddler Property Laws

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    If I like it, it's mine.If it's in my hand, it's mine.If I can take it from you, it's mine.If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.If it looks just like…

  • Weird Laws

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Minnesota:It is illegal to tease skunks.Every man in Brainerd is required by law to grow a beard.Michigan: A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.Under state law, dentists are officially classified as "mechanics."In Clawson, it is legal for a man to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."New…